I play these hypothetical scenarios all the time in my head. Today’s conversation was triggered by a complete stranger who saw me in a store. After a few glances and a wave, he came over and immediately introduced me to his situation… not himself. I have no clue what his name was and I don’t think he asked me mine. Pretty much, he wanted to come say hi and introduce himself but he also didn’t want to overstep because he is and I quote “in a situation between his soon to be ex wife and his current entanglement which is on the rocks due to his marital circumstances” and chile, I just don’t know. It was a lot lol. I said well thank you for the compliment and your honesty. I wasn’t truly interested anyway, I think I was just open to being hit on because I’m not getting hit on if that makes sense. But nonetheless, it made my mind wonder and create this hypothetical thing and this is how it went…
woman: “Are we just having sex?”
man squeamishly: “no that’s not all we doing… we vibing and getting to know one another. Why? What do you want?”
Now woman could easily lay it all out. Her expectations, her desires, the quick remedy to fix whatever is causing their thing to be on the rocks. Woman feels exhausted coaching men through her game only for them to blow it in the 4th quarter or worse, forfeit the game.
woman: I want to not have to want.
man: you don’t wanna have to want what?
let me translate that for you. What she means is, she doesn’t want to have to want whatever it is she wants from you. If there is something you want it’s because you don’t have it seemingly. So if she wants dating, she wants you to want to date so it can just be “naturally, we’re dating” and not “we going out to this place because I initiated it…”. If its affection she wants, it’s because affectionately she’s starving outside of sex. She’s wanting in an area and if she’s trying to accustom herself to a life no lack, your connection is keeping her tied to what she’s breaking free from. Honestly sir, I think she just wants to know you want her and not just she wants you. She probably wants the connection to feel as natural as the sex…
woman: normally I’d lay it out there for you. I always directly communicate but if it’s okay, this time I don’t want to do the heavy lifting. If it matters to you, you’ll figure it out whatever it is.
woman rolls over to let him know she’s done with it. This isn’t a good sign because that means if he does then great, but if he doesn’t, then she can wash her hands with it. He’s at the tip of the plank with her… she’s gonna give him back to the fish or the two of them will sail the ship forward.
Alexa cue The beautiful ones by Prince.