With Love, J. Sheppard

ALEXA play "Daughters" by John Mayer.

jelina sheppardComment

You ever think about real stuff? Like, what would’ve happen if Jesus had not rose in 3 days? We’d just be waiting lol. What would we have done while we waited? Some people would probably say we’d be on our way to hell. But… there’s people like me. *Smile*. 

Hypothetically speaking, I have a few opinions. If he would not have… let’s just say the cup was too much for him. I think we would have some how kept going… we would’ve found a way to pick up the pieces. Truly, we would have never found redemption or salvation and we would have never found our way back to God…. BUT, I don’t think we (those of the same heart) would have stopped searching and believing. I also think we would have understood the decision behind not rising or dying for that matter. I think He purposefully placed certain people in their eras of life. I examine my life and I wonder everyday why we require people to set themselves on fire to A) keep us warm and B) prove their love for us. 

Real love is running to grab your shotgun because some boy broke her heart. But mutual love is her never asking you to pull the trigger because she’d never require you to sacrifice your life or assignment as her dad for that matter. 

On the other hand…. I imagine the depth of love Jesus had to have to follow through with his assignment. I wonder, did Jesus die and rise with us in mind or was it his love for the father that kept him going? Like, yeah Jesus loves us but… who did he love more? Do you ever wonder if Jesus’ motivation to accomplish his father’s will was the love he had for his father? Imagine that…. willing to sacrifice and experience all that agony for “love”. For confirmation of love… acceptance maybe…. I don’t really know. Everybody’s toxic. Lol. I’m addicted but… still. I could go so deeper with the questions I have but I think I’d rather just let it be. You can imagine why Jesus was the end all be all. No one since has had the capacity to love the way Jesus loves… 

“Why has thou forsaken me”…. That was in the final stage before he received rest followed by resurrection and power. If you’ve ever felt forsaken or I.E “let down” by your father, I imagine you’re amongst great company. I don’t think Jesus wanted God to do much in that moment other than hear him out…. I think Jesus wanted to be transparent with him and have it acknowledged that this shit is hard. Bear my pain, hold my hand, and walk me through it. I don’t want you to avenge me just don’t abandon me for these people… these very flawed, inconsistent, and I only follow you for what you can do for me people. At the very least, if I’m going to serve the people you love, the least you could do is hear me. 

SIDEBAR: Jesus had to know “lo I am with you always”. He had to know God would never leave, but (yeah ima go there because there’s no disrespect with it…) it was uncool that God was just expecting Jesus to know he was still riding for him. He went through all of that… lol you could’ve sent my man a thunder bolt in the sky or something to reassure he was still your first choice… or was he? ANYWAY. WE BACK.

Now let me close this out with something positive and up-lifting. That’s why you’re here. “Like lives depend on it”…. is a business owned by a lady named Trinity Anderson but it has so much weight. To do anything in excellence like lives depend on it, is to be like Jesus. Stepping away from my cynicism, I do believe (whether motivated by his heart or his Father’s), that Jesus decided to follow through with death and rising because he understood lives depended on it. Whatever your assignment is and when it becomes agonizing, struggle past it. There are lives that depend on you accomplishing your father’s will for your life. It’s so easy to be selfish and quit but to stay and struggle because of the love you have for others is Jesus. Toxic lol…. But Jesus. He’s so addictive. And also… 

Don’t make him have to die again. Live like his life depended on it.