With Love, J. Sheppard

To Love Me, Is To Know Me...

jelina sheppardComment

Spent days of my life hearing “You’re vain” instead of “you’re beautiful”.... not realizing every day I struggled with what I saw because my identifier wrongly identified and the world wasn’t much consolation either. I understand now, it was the best they could offer because they weren’t accustomed to positive affirmations. Their love language wasn’t wrapped in pretty paper and decorated bows.

“I didn’t choose you for this because I thought you were arrogant” when really the level of excellence seen was passion that exudes it’s own level of confidence. After years of coach trying to deny the humility that was already present, the truth set us all free and we soared as a team. The thing is, humility accompanied by excellence isn’t what people want when they tell you to be humble. When the two are paired, if the person observing lacks excellence of their own, they’ll make their insecurity your arrogance.... The newest wave is “you gotta stop being addicted to accolades” instead of “I believe you can be who you want to be and do what you want to do..... there is no limit”. What is it with people trying to starve me of what I deserve?

To know me is to know, I don’t move with people in mind. I don’t live for “oh you’re this and you’re that....” because a lot of people can only give that. Compliments. They don’t carry you far because most words are empty... like a car with no gas and they darn sure don’t secure a bag. At the center is me and my happiness. The different accolades and accomplishments come from me digging to discover the pieces of me.... the “talents” if you will, that God predestined me. People who have not invested in getting to my core don’t understand what is at the center and that’s my heart. Why would their words be able to penetrate something they don’t possess? The numbers, the comments, the accomplishments.... I appreciate because I know there are people that wish for those very things.... I’d much rather have that one person who is able to pour something into me that can produce the level of effectiveness and purpose I desire.... or at least affirm what I’m constantly searching to find....

Waiting on someone whose DNA can speak into and identify with what’s inside of me. To love me, is to know me.