With Love, J. Sheppard

Perfectly Imperfect...

jelina sheppardComment

"You look so beautiful.... your smile is perfect”. Six twenty-three and you can finally see the light. He was right, it was beautiful the way the light hit the waves while simultaneously enhancing the shadow of his beard. Looking over the balcony with the city on one side and an ocean view on the other. It was peaceful and imperfectly perfect... just like a scene out of a movie. Nicholas Sparks himself couldn’t create my realities.

Two smiles laughing, respectful and pure embraces, light conversation highlighted in blush... He had it. Extremely sweet and adoring, tall and handsome. Just right for a surface interaction. He even complimented my curls and the softness of their coils. I laughed nervously praying he didn’t pull it off while running his finger through my hair. He could tell though, he hit a tangle in the curls and I panicked to shift her back to perfection.

We laughed some more, we talked some more, we misunderstood languages and then comprehended some more. His language was fluent enough... where it mattered. I mean, dreamy and kind. That’s the thing you should want right? Still, in a crowded room, I’d find a way to chose something else. Why? I have no clue.

Maybe mature adults understand surface interactions aren’t enough. They’re nice for the moment but fleeting. That type of adoration is flattering but, it’s not enough... at least not for me. Do I want someone to adore me? Worship the ground I walk on? A willing heart to watch the sunrise with me because it’s what I want, not pushing for anything in return?

Do I want a sweet someone or was I subconsciously wishing a certain someone could’ve been sweet?

The point is, romance is a heavily sedative art. Definitely one I can always appreciate but it isn’t holistically it. I’ll need more of it, more often than not but I’m preferring it in balance. I want what I want and I know what that is... still imperfectly perfect wasn’t it. (That’s what we’ll call this). I don’t want imperfectly perfect moments with someone sweet. I want perfectly imperfect moments with someone who balances me.

But, thank you imperfectly perfect for a movie scene romance. However, you can’t be the right fit for this role. I wonder if in the end love will play out like a final fantasy...