With Love, J. Sheppard

The Girlfriend Gene

jelina sheppardComment

The girlfriend gene, is it a thing we lack or is it that we’re trying to infuse ourselves with the wrong people? 

Blood type O is compatible with every blood type. I’m type O but… I rarely gel with a lot of men out here. It’s weird. Somedays I get vulnerable you know. I take a break from my superhuman complex, and I experience what I consider a “weak” day. Today’s been pretty awesome so don’t ask me why after a great day, I’m letting this question boggle me, but we’re here now so let’s write it out.

Some women just got it… the girlfriend gene. (Laughing) I know women who’ve rarely been single and not that that’s a good thing but its a thing you know? It’s like every 15, another man came… heck, probably my man too. If you happen to see him, send him my way. I’m tired of waiting on him. But we've all seen these women. It's the woman you see with her boyfriend on those instagram pictures... the one that makes you think "aww I could do that if....".

Her... the girl that ended up with the guy you wanted because of the way the universe is set up.

(ouchhhhhhuhhhhhhhhh, ugh. I'm mad lol) 

Then I know other women who’ve never had a healthy relationship… in our 20s/30s and no not one. It’s weird. I can definitely say it’s not about looks because… well I’m not gonna go into that because you know. You see the world just like I do. It has nothing to do with goals, ambition, socioeconomic status, appearance, mindsets, environment… none of those things matter because it’s an array of people experiencing relationships and whatnot. So what is it? 

Is it a gene God forgot to put in the pot when creating this particular group of individuals? It’s inevitable to ask yourself why am I never the girlfriend when you never get to be the girlfriend. I mean, logically speaking, you’re probably missing out on a level of stress you’re not really ready to commit to, but humanely speaking, I understand. 

It’s not about the “boyfriend”… They’re aggravating. It’s about the person you want to share life with. The person you want to hide behind after a long day. The arms you want to fall in when everything and everyone has drained you of your energy. When you’re weak, another set of arms to be your strength… I get it. 

I’m sure my deep readers are thinking “J, why aren’t you telling your readers to lean on the everlasting arms of Jesus, he sticks closer than a brother, he’s everything you need…” 

OH GIVE ME A BREAK JAN. We don’t want to hear that right now. He is more than enough, but he hasn’t manifested himself in human form and right now darn it, we want a human. Some warmth. Some tangibility. Jesus. I got him… for real for real. I’ve literally been with him all day. Sunrise 630 am to Night time 11:06 pm. So… yeah we’re good in that area today. It’s about balance. Anyway… for my honest hearts, I get it. 

Maybe it’s not that other women have something we lack, maybe it’s really the people we want to play a role aren’t compatible for the position and God is our human resource department screening out applicants that don’t fit the description he has for our lives. (If that doesn’t comfort you, I totally understand because it didn’t comfort me either but I’m just saying, it could be an explanation.)

Which would you rather cling to? “I’m lacking something within” or “The people I want just aren’t a true fit”? It’s one of those half empty half full mindsets. Either way… I just wish I wasn’t so exposed internally to even consider the thought. 

The girlfriend gene, is it a thing I lack or is it that I’ve tried to connect my type with others that aren’t compatible?