With Love, J. Sheppard

95th and Butterflies

jelina sheppardComment

To know me is to know I do everything primarily with my head. I’m very spontaneous and will do a lot of outlandish things that appear on a whim to most… but it’s probably something I’ve prepared for. Logically, I believe life is a movie and anything that makes for a great scene when I’m old and gray replaying what I can remember, should be worth the view.

So, yes I’ll always overthink everything I care about, but even with the worst case scenario in mind, I’ll use that to prepare me for every wild thing I’ll ever do in this life. In fact, anything exciting to me, I’m going to do.

So… with over thinking, comes the sweet gift of compartmentalizing. I can place everything in its proper place and in real life whatever does not have a place cannot stay but likewise, when I want something, I’ll find a place for it.

But with this one… I’m still making efforts to figure out where this lottery ticket belongs space wise… and all I can come up with is… “outside the box”.

And that’s exciting…I mean it feels like having to boo boo butterflies and because I haven’t been out the box before, I’m deeply intrigued. Any parameters I try to place him in, he bleeds outside the lines. Trying to make sense of all the components normally helps me compartmentalize but, this one is kinda tricky.

And friends, I had soooooooo much fun being outside this box. Everything outside this box is unorthodox, original, and vibrant. I mean, he’s funny, goofy, smart, stupid, spontaneous, exciting, sweet, sour, mean, but chivalrous when it matters the most… and the breath that comes out his nose when he’s sleeping smells good. Smh, I’m not sure why I know that, but… I was close enough to smell it.

Oh!!!! and damn good looking. Did I mention the forehead kisses land perfectly every time.

I live my life according to my rules but what I also learned years ago, is that as a woman, there is always an exception to every rule we have and he’s found his.

Wait, did I say he was smart? Very intelligent and charming. I can’t help but actually pay attention when he speaks. Isn’t that something sweet? To want to listen?

He’s literally the best piece of sausage and jalapeño pizza you can only find in the most beautiful city with an amazing skyline… shout out to Rosati’s.

I feel like I might of made it to 95th but after this, im kinda wanting to go a little further south to see what 91st is like. It could be too close but, i think wanna know more… but only if 91st is truly open to being "known". People say they want to be known, but being truly known is scary, vulnerable, and intentional.

I’d happily accept this penny for my thought: Do you get to be reality or just a moment?

The unpopular thing about outcomes is you can’t 100% call it, and even when you do, only time will tell.

… ima see it through every time.

Hey Siri, play butterflies by Michael Jackson.