I think at some point there is mind shift that takes place… you start sizing men up with mental questions like
“would he be a solid person to list as my emergency contact”?
If life happens as it does so often and transitions take place, “could I grieve with him?” “Does he have the emotional capacity and relational intelligence to support me through difficult moments?” “Is he patient?” “Is he supportive?”, “does he have the ability to build, expand, grow?”… at some point the important questions start to be at the forefront of your mind. In addition to, “if he loses all his hair within the next ten years, will I still think he’s attractive?”… if his penis stops working, am I prepared to live without it because his personality and character is the type of person I’d want to stay connected to despite any life change?... The beginning questions really speak to his ability in being your companion… the person you do life with…
Maybe that’s what thirty is. Seeing the man’s forest beyond his trees. Looking for the traits that support your beliefs around him being worth it and you. The trees are looking solid but once you transition your mind to see the forest instead of focusing on the tree in front of you, it’s a good chance you might be alone a lot longer that you hoped for. Your people really have to fit beyond right now. They have to make sense for your future. Inflation just isn’t in economy; it’s also hitting the dating scene. A good man is costly and a great man is… well idk. I’ll let you know if one ever finds me.
The never-ending inflation is taking my good sisters out these days. The same effects apply; you have to spend more to maintain, but its like the value of our efforts aren’t getting us the quality individual we hope to obtain. It’s like saving $250 a month in an investment account, only for you to have made $300 in interest by the first anniversary. It’s giving “the math aint mathin” and men are seeing their worth [i mean kudos to them] and really hiking the price of reciprocity up these days. It’s giving gentrification and New York’s apartment pricing/square footage. They look good… the social media presentation looks verified… and the verbal content is doing numbers… but when you really take the time to get to know the man behind the content…. Just wow. I acknowledge the same is definitely said for women too, they don’t give what they supposed to be giving… and maybe I don’t either… but I’m the type, if you invest in me and communicate, I’ll produce exactly what’s desired as long as it aligns with my purpose as an individual and God submitted woman.
Anyways, this isn’t about me. It’s about praying to find someone that can help you produce a healthy forest. Someone said the trees we plant today are the forests we enjoy tomorrow… and a seed is a forest inside out. If our relationship consists of two trees, and our actions/decisions are the seeds, the future is nothing more than the forest we build. The next question becomes, what type of tree do I need and can survive being planted next to… but that’s a whole other bag of burritos under the hood.