How do you know when a relationship is done?
When you no longer have any grace for him or her.
Chucky and I.... that day I realIzed I had no more grace for him and that would mean there would be no room for mistakes. Healthy or unhealthy kind. I wouldn’t be forgiving moving forward... I’d become extremely critical and everything would have to be absolutely perfect, but the problem with that, nothing is ever perfect... I knew then there was no way to move forward. I was all out of ways and methods I could make it work. I had exhausted every measure I had within me... I had nothing left. That was me at 20. Emptying out everything and leaving no value within me because I thought Love was going the distance, no matter how horrendous the journey may have been. I had no clue that when the relationship starts taking more than it invests back in you, that it’s a death trap sent to destroy you. No one taught us that growing up, because up until the early 2000s, self love, appreciation, and value were not principles we taught. I’m so glad I’m still young enough to master those things before it became too late for me and I was too settled in who I was to change my ways.
Now, at 28, I’m mindful. I’m observant. I take inventory. I pay attention to what I put out, what I invest, and I monitor my ROI (return on investment). I analyze the frequency of the return... is it a consistent one? I analyze the size of the return.... is it a profitable one? At the very least I expect to break even but even looking at me type that seems like a “weak bitch mindset”.
(It’s a thing for me....not to be demeaning but motivation of who not be... weak nor a bitch).
Very briefly I feel the need to explain... not justify.... but explain. A weak bitch is someone who settles for things she know she doesn’t deserve but then never makes any effort to acquire more for herself. She accepts the maltreatment and complains but never changes her situation. So, see? Not bitch as in a female dog... you’re still very much a queen, just one that’s lost her throne. In this connotation, bitch is like one who complains or nags.
But back to the topic at hand. We should all shoot for a high return on investment... so at the very least if you do break even at least you’ll have what you started with. The only thing about breaking even, there was no gain. No increase. You won’t become better than who you are and what that looks like is you not growing. If you ever stop growing in life you might as well be dead... or the relationship might as well be dead. Iron sharpens Iron is a biblical principle that applies to every type of relationship you have and you should dedicate most of your time, attention, and resources to those relationships that makes you better because of the mutual investment you both give.
At the end of the day, if the best thing about your business deal is that you broke even, run. It has a high risk with no to low return. It’s not the best investment for your company but I do understand if you’d decide to make it work. Most people can’t even break even… so you’re not exactly doing bad for yourself, but my favorite idiom in life, “it’s not so bad means it’s not so great either”. Depending on what you bring to the table and the value of your investment, you get to decide if it’s worth it. I think all relationships have a break even point, before it yields a high return or no return... you just have to be mindful and catch the break even point. Then when you get to your crossroads, you can usually predict how the relationship will mature. Like any business investment it either shows promise or it doesn’t.
Don’t get in bed with a raw deal... you’ll get fucked every time.
With Love, J. Sheppard