You were in my dreams last night. I don’t remember the details or even dreaming anything specific but, I woke up feeling like the dream was intense feeling wise. Almost like there were two realities… like a multiverse, and I was experiencing both sides. Whenever one interaction took place, a different one took place on the other side but just one felt more intense… like you were really present. Like, if you grazed the side of my face, without touching me, you touched my right lip. All of the interactions were innocent but felt intense. I woke up feeling drunk and out of it like I might have been on a drug or something… very drowsy.
But like it really felt like you had been coloring deep until the the pencil tip was dull and couldn’t color anymore. Woke up feeling very much water colors and mad because I couldn’t touch you… why the hell aren’t you beside me? (Still not in a sexual way) but we both wanted to feel him at the same time. It’s just very much simultaneous duality. Not even sure why I woke up feeling this way but I’m so frustrated I almost couldn’t take it anymore. My stomach was in knots from all the not coloring but coloring.
Today, I’m craving you but not so much sexually… I really think I just want to be connected to you… and because I lack experience the quickest way to feel instantly connected is through sex but I really just wanted to cuddle up next to you. Now I’m sad because where are you? My freaking period got to be on the way.
4.1.23